Fireflies
by ChloeRhiannonX
Summary: Katniss used to believe in fairytales and waiting for her perfect Prince. That was until her fathers death. With living in her fantasy world no longer an option, she sets out to find reality. But reality is a harsh place. Her mother commits suicide, her fiancee dies a war hero and her sweet, baby sister is not feeling quite herself. Can she find a light at the end of this tunnel?
1. The Day All The Dreams Died

**Fireflies**

**Prologue**

**The Day All The Dreams Died**

I guess it started when I was younger. Younger isn't much to go on age, but I don't really remember much of the specifics. All I know is my daddy would take me down to the Orchard fields once a week, either strapping me to his four-wheeler or riding down on Bucky, his stallion. It was almost routine. Every Sunday morning, right after Church, we'd come home, get changed of our Sunday best and head out for our father-daughter time.

It was there in the field that I have my fondest memories. Just me and daddy. We'd pick apples and berried, him teaching me all about the different kinds. By the time I was old enough to ride my own horse I could tell you which wild fruits were edible and which would kill you before they even reached your stomach. It was a natural part of growing up where I was concerned. Daddy and I had tried to teach my baby sister Prim too, but she didn't have a knack for it like I had. I preferred it that way, though. No one could take the time daddy and I had together away from us.

It was there in the Orchard field's one hot, Sunday afternoon that I learnt the most important lesson of my young life. Dream.

"That's what you need to do, Katniss." My father whispered in my ear. "Dream as wide as the ocean and as high as the sky. No one can tear your dreams away from you." And I did as he said. I lived in a perfect dream, keeping every fantasy alive in my mind. There really was nothing in the universe that could take it away from me. I was a fairy Princess each night daddy read to me from our favorite book. Every Sunday when we went out to spot in the Orchards, down near our own private lake, I would collect up the frogs and give each one a kiss. Even now, if I try hard enough, I can still feel the slime of their skin on my lips. None ever turned into Princes, but my daddy taught me to never give up on things I really wanted.

My daddy was a good man. He always saw the good in everyone. He managed to keep our small farm running full time while also working every Friday and Saturday in the community coal mines. We lived in the twelfth district, a small town called Seam. Coal mining was the trade of our town district. All men were required to work i the mines as often as they could. My daddy didn't like it, but he never let it ruin his mood.

One Saturday night, I must have been about nine, he came home from working the long shift at the mines. Momma always let me stay up for daddy if I didn't have any school. I watched from my window as he parked the old truck outside His face titled backwards and his smile matched mine. His face was dirty, and his clothes looking equally the same. But he was my daddy. I watched him enter the house, but I stayed at my bedroom window. I didn't dare move too much in fear of waking Prim. So I stopped and watched the fairies dancing around outside my window, waltzing in the midnight air. Momma called them fireflies, but I knew better than that. They were fairies, all out and granting wishes to the deserving children of Seam. Daddy taught me that.

I could hear daddy rattling around in the kitchen at first, before he came to wish me goodnight. I bit my lip and looked at my sister, but she was sound asleep. No noise in the world could wake her from her dreams. Even so, daddy still tip-toed into our room, his hands behind his back. He leaned down and kissed Prim's blonde hair. She didn't stir. Then he came and joined me at the window, placing a jar between us. The blue lid had holes in it, so it wasn't a very good jar. Daddy opened it up and reached out of the window with it. I watched him in amazement as he caught a group of fairies.

"You need to do this every night," he told me. "We need to capture Tinkerbell." I gasped and leaned out of the open window. I took my time to examine every little glow I could see.

"Do you really think she's out there?" I asked in awe.

"Of course she is, Katniss." Daddy said, placing the no re-lidded jar on my nightstand. "See, there's the second star to the right." He pointed up at the night sky. "And just past it, over those hills, you'll find Neverland." I giggled at his words, wondering if there was such a place. "Everything that comes before Neverland is your Kingdom, Princess Katniss. And as long as you believe that Tinkerbell is out there, she will find her way across it one day to come and find you." So I believed. I believed in finding Tinkerbell with all my little heart. Daddy gave me more jars and each night I would try and capture her. I never did, but I never gave up.

Gale told me I was being silly once. He said Tinkerbell lived in Neverland, she'd never come to a town as boring as Seam. I punched him. He didn't understand the ways that Tinkerbell worked. Gale's daddy didn't teach him the way my daddy taught me. But that was okay, he was still my best friend. I tried to teach him everything he needed to know, and together we sailed the seas in his bunk beds. Hazelle told us not to damage the bed sheets when we tucked them into the top bunk. But we needed a sail to help us find Neverland. To help us find our little fairy friend.

Gale and I went on many adventures. I don't remember them all now, but I do remember our last. We were sat in the garden, between the two pig pens. There was a tall Sycamore tree with its leaves all fallen off in winter. The snow had dried up by then, so it was safe to sit outside. Daddy and Mr. Hawthorne had built us our own secret house up there a few years before then. We didn't climb up it that day, it was too slippery. We sat on the floor, laughing and playing our game. I was eleven, he was thirteen. I know now that he was too old to be playing my childish games with me, but he never told me he didn't want to. That day in particular I was a Princess, locked away in my tower, and he was the Princes, destined to save me. So he fought dragons and other Princes, not letting anyone come between us.

There are two reasons I will always remember this day. As soon as I was deemed rescued, Gale kissed me. Not a quick peck on the cheek like our mothers had made us do every year on birthdays. Not a quick peck on the lips like we usually did when I had been rescued. But his lips pressed against mine and stayed there for at least four seconds. I don't think I kissed him back; I just stood there and received it. I noticed Gale blushing as he pulled away from me. I wanted to ask him about it, I wanted to know why he had done it. But I never got the chance.

My first kiss is reason number one why I will forever remember that day. Reason number two is the same reason Greasy Sae came calling for the two of us at that very moment. She had Prim standing by her, clutching onto Rory's hand, and Vick shying away behind her billowing skirt. Rory and Vick were Gale's younger brothers. Rory was Prim's age, seven, and Vick was two years younger. Greasy Sae was our neighbour; her son was a farm-hand for my daddy. She often baby sat both me and Prim, as well as the Hawthorne boys.

I was confused to see her standing in the back door porch, calling our names as if they were her last words. Momma should have been at home. Gale and I knew better than to disobey our elders. We ran back up the garden, and the closer we got, the more frightened little Prim looked. As soon as I caught up with Gale in the house doorway, I scooped my little sister onto my hip, holding her tightly to me. She didn't look or weigh her age, Prim was very small, very delicate, like the flower she was named after.

"Where's my momma?" I asked Greasy Sae. She gave me a sympathetic look and gestured for us all to follow her. Sae didn't talk much, she was quite quiet. I didn't know a lot about her. I don't think anyone did. She moved to Seam the same year I was born with her son and her daughter. We didn't know where she came from or why she moved, but she did bring a bunch of cooking recipes with her. Every time she'd babysit us, Prim and I would find some new and exotic food on our plates. And now that I'm old enough, I realize it wasn't quite so exotic as opposed to strange. Wild dog stew? No one else in Seam would ever have tried that.

I dropped Prim back to the floor where she held onto me with one hand and onto Rory with the other. Gale followed Greasy Sae out of the house first, Vick scrambling on his little chubby legs to keep up, and Rory, Prim and I bringing up the rear. We were led down the street and turned the corner onto the next. That was when I saw it.

Thick clouds of black smoke were hurricaning in the sky. There was ash in the air and the sun had been blocked out on this part of town. I wasn't sure how Gale and I had issed this from the garden, but I didn't have time to question it. My feet were already moving faster and I was dragging the two seven year olds through the side-road mud. Because there was only one place that could turn the sky that way.

Gale had picked up speed too, little Vick struggling even more now. I let go of Prim's hand and Gale and I ran further ahead. I could the panting of the three younger children, but neither Gale nor I were going to stop for them now. They had Sae to watch them; we needed to keep moving forward. The two of us sped down the rest of the road and skidded onto the dirt track near the bottom. It was a shortcut to the mines.

It didn't take us half as long to get there as it usually did, but I don't even remember most of the run. My mind was only thinking about my daddy. I wanted to know he was safe; I needed him to be safe. I know Gale was thinking the same as me. Mr. Hawthorne was down the mines that day too.

We fought our way through the crowd of sobbing women. A few miners were stretched out on the floor, making the sobs happy ones. But most were grim. I tried to spot my daddy amongst them, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. And then I found my momma and Hazelle at the front, right by the do-not-cross barrier. There were holding hands, trying to be comforting. Momma had her other hand over her mouth to silence the crying; Hazelle had other stroking her large stomach. She was having another baby. Gale wrapped an arm around his mother's shoulders and I wrapped both of mine around my momma's waist.

We waited there for hours. The moon started to creep up before there was any news. Very few miners had emerged by then, and all were taken to hospital. There was a small relief flooding through me as one more miner was pulled through. Mr. Hawthorne. Hazelle and Gale rushed to him and he was rushed to the hospital.

A little while later, a few more firefighters came running out of the burning entrance, some carrying more miners with them. Just moments later, the entrance collapsed. It was like some horrible movie, the world slowing down and my mother falling to the floor. I knew what this meant. No matter how much I tried to fight it, I knew this meant that he hadn't survived. I was never going to see him again. My daddy was dead.

Greasy Sae pulled my momma, crying and shaking, all the way home. I carried a tired Prim, too young to understand what had just happened. One of our other neighbors took Rory and Vick to the hospital. Hazelle and Gale had gone in the ambulance.

I didn't cry. It was like I didn't know how to. I just walked up to my parents' bedroom and curled up on my daddy's side. I couldn't think of him as gone, as never coming home. I wanted it not to be real. I wanted him to be alive, to come walking in through the bedroom door and carry me into my own bed like he had done many times before. He never did, though. And he never would again.

Mr. Hawthorne passed away that night in hospital. Gale told me that the doctors said his body had been too internally damaged. I knew that meant it was very bad. I still didn't cry over Mr. Hawthorne, who had been like a second father to me. I didn't know how to cry over it.

Every night I would crawl into my parents bed, on my father's side, and just curl up to sleep. Prim joined me most nights. There would have been room for all three of us, but my mother never got off the couch. She just sat there, a living corpse. She would not speak, she would not move, she would barely eat. Sae had to force feed her before she withered away before our very eyes. Sae tried her best to take care of all of us, but it shouldn't have been her job to.

Hazelle was back on her feet within a few days, watching over her three boys and expecting the new baby at any time. My momma ignored me and Prim. I was the one who had to sit her down and explain that daddy wasn't coming home. He never was going to play Princess' with us again and we'd never get to wait up for his truck late at night. That wasn't my job, but I did it because momma wasn't going to.

We were allowed two weeks off from school, but we went back after one. There was no point in all three of us being vegetables. Every day before the bus came, Prim would braid momma's hair. She would make no response. Sae would silently make us packed-lunches and send us on our way. After two weeks, she had semi-officially moved in. She took good care of the house while James, her son, took good care of most of the farm. The others hands did their best to help out too, but no one wanted to put any effort into it without a pay check coming out the other end. My daddy wasn't there with his cheery nature anymore to spur everyone on, hope was lost.

Sae helped deliver little Posy Hawthorne three weeks after the accident. She was almost two weeks late, but she was perfectly healthy. Hazelle hadn't had time to get to the hospital and the ambulance came twenty minutes late. Posy was a great little addition to our make-shift family. Prim adored her and her brothers loved her with everything they had.

It was a whole six and a half week after the accident before I lost it completely. I finally had worked up the courage one Wednesday morning during Spring Break to go into my bedroom. Prim was downstairs, watching TV, Sae was cooking breakfast for all of us. I slowly pushed the door open and at the sight of the mayonnaise jars on the windowsill, I just lost. I threw all seven jars out the window, shattering each one. The fireflies in them were long dead. I tore at all my fantasy books, saving daddy's favorite for last. Fairytales had lost all meaning to me now; I wasn't going to get my happy ending, so I couldn't be a Princess anymore. I scratched at the wooden trunk that had been sat at the end of my bed for three years. Daddy had bought it for me one Christmas. It was filled with dressing-up clothes. I was never going to wear any of them again. I took the photo of the two if us off my nightstand and I threw it as hard as I could at the wall before collapsing onto my bed. I was finally crying, sobbing as hard as I could into my pillow.

Daddy told me that no one could take your dreams away from you, but someone had found a way. The day he died was the day I was stripped of my hope and my dreams. My Kingdom had fallen to pieces.

A/M: What a sad start to a story...

No, seriously, I don't start bawling my eyes out until chapter 5 at least, but I'm all blurry visioned here!

As I reread through this, it reminded me of A Cinderella Story...Ever seen that film? Yeah, I must have been thinking about that in the back of my mind while I was writing this...What a good film that is...haha!

I honestly think that this is one of my best chapters I have ever written. Like EVER! (Go Taylor Swift XD) I hand write it, BTW. I haven't hand written a story in a very long time...Like, two years...And even then they were just short stories for English class! But this story is going to be completely hand written and then typed up, which is one of the things that I think make it so special ^^

The reason for it being hand written is that I am saving this story to be written in my spare time while I am at college. You see, I have big gaps between my classes sometimes, and the college bus only comes twice a day; morning and afternoon. So I get bored sometimes and what better way to quench some boredom than writing? haha! So, if there are no frequent updates, that is also the reason why.

So, that's just a bit of info on the writing of this story...And if you haven't fallen asleep yet, CONGRATS!

This is my second multi-chapter Hunger games fic! My first only got to chapter three :( But it just wasn't thr right fic for me, you know? I'm not much of an action writer, more of a romance and fantasy writer...And I guess you're a fantasy and romance reader if you're reading this story! haha!

Sooo...I think that's about much of a ramble I can fit into one AN!

WARNING! My AN's can get pretty long sometimes...I ramble...Like...A LOT! So, you have been warned!

Thanks for reading, please review (:

Love, Miss C. Rhiannon X


	2. The Day Things Got To Their Worst

**Fireflies**

**Chapter One**

**The Day Things Got To Their Worst**

_July 13th 2008_

It was the banging on the wall that woke me before the alarm clock did. Both sound were ringing in my head, both reminding me that today is the day I do not want to get out of bed. Not that I ever want to get out of bed, but this day in particular I didn't want to get up more than usual. I was defeated. No part of me wished to ever move again, but the inevitable was coming my way. So I rolled over and hit snooze, and Johanna stopped slamming her fist into the wall. I wondered whether she had fallen back to sleep or remembered what day it was. Not that I was interested, more because I needed to take my mind away from the day at hand.

I think I started to drift back to a haunted sleep because I jolted awake at the sound of my alarm once again. This time I make sure to shut it off before my roommate can resume her wall-thumping. The last thing I needed today was to have a headache on top of everything else that was going on.

Jo was in the kitchen when I finally made it out of my bedroom. I was surprised to see her up so early, but I kept my mouth tightly sealed. I couldn't bring myself to do or say anything. I just fell onto the sofa and begged the tears to never come forward. Today I needed to be stronger than ever. Today everything around me was going to try and break me. My job was to not let it. I refused to break so far; I shouldn't let it happen now.

"Do you want something to eat?" I shook my head. "I know I'm not the world's best cook, but you need to at least get something in you." It was times like these that Johanna reminded me of my mom before my father's death. The kind and selfless woman I had once loved. I quickly shook my head of that thought, though. I didn't need to add any pressure to this day with my memories of others; it was stressful enough without everything else.

"I'm just going to get ready and head out." Johanna looked like she wanted to say something, but she bit back her words and let me leave in silence. She knew better than to say something to me today. Johanna had been very careful the past few days, always thinking about her words before carelessly throwing them out there like she usually did.

I did the basics. Showered. Washed my hair. Brushed my teeth. I did it all mindlessly. I stayed in my robotic form for an hour before I laid the black dress out onto the bed. It stared uglily up at me. The dress itself was beautiful; it was what it represented that was ugly. He had bought it for me from his first paycheck. I only wore it once, out on a date with him. I couldn't tell if it was right or wrong to wear it today. But I was going to anyway. The dress fell down to my knees with two think straps holding it over my shoulders. A matching black belt went around my stomach and I couldn't help but remember him undoing it at the back, his lips moving along my collarbone...

I hovered, grabbing out for my dark colored sweater. It was warm enough in Seam during the summer, but I was heading out towards Seacliff in the fourth district, I didn't know what the weather was going to be like there.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I left my bedroom. He always preferred it when I left it down, so I thought I'd leave the waves out especially for him today. It only seemed right. Today was all about him, making him feel loved, which he most definitely was. Day-in, day-out, I loved him much more than I ever thought I could. It was always debated whether it was a romance or a sibling thing. We were practically family by the time it happened. But we loved each other witha burning passion. The things we did were certainly not a sibling thing.

"You look beautiful," Johanna whispered, scared of waking the dead. She knew what this dress meant to me. She had been one of the first people to see it. "Gale would be so proud of you." There goes the mom thing again. Johanna wasn't usually like that. Johanna was the girl who would party all weekend and sleep during the week. She worked night-shifts and her days off were spent drinking beer and watching reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S on the couch. The motherly side of Jo came out in my times of need, No matter how much I wanted to deny it, there had been many.

My roommate seemed to notice her slight foot in the mouth, pulling me in for a hug. I had asked her to come with me, but she insisted she didn't know him well enough. I disagreed. Every time he would come home and stay with me in Johanna and I's tiny apartment, the two would get along famously. There were as good as best friends as I had been with either of them.

"It's twelve." I mumbled at the sight of the kitchen clock. "Prim will be here soon." Jo nodded in fear of saying the wrong thing again. I gave her one last hug. She was my only best friend now. I needed her more than I liked to admit. She waved me off down the hall and I took the four flights of stairs down to the lobby; the service elevator was out for repair yet again. Prim had agreed to drive Rory and I to Seacliff since she had been the only one to keep a clam head the past week. I had lived in my bedroom since I received the news. I didn't even want to think what had been going on with the Hawthorne family.

My little sister's 1967 Volkswagen vintage Beatle was parked across the street. Our Uncle Haymitch had died just before Prim's sixteenth birthday two years ago, so Aunt Effie gave Prim his car out of an angered depressive rage. She never asked for ir back and my sister had been attached to it ever since. At least I didn't have to fork out for a first car for her. I don't think it would have been more than a piece of metal on wheels. I couldn't even afford my own car; I depended on Prim and Johanna for all my travelling needs. Not that they minded, they knew my savings were going towards Prim's college funds. I never got a college education myself, but I wanted her to have everything I didn't in life.

"Hey guys," I weakly smiled at the couple in the front. Prim tried to smile back, but Rory just stared out the window. He was taking it the hardest; Prim had informed me on the phone the day before. Rory hadn't talked since he heard. He was the closest to him, after all. And every time he looked in a mirror he would always be reminded of his older brother.

We drove in silence, not even music playing from the radio. None of us were in the mood. It was going to be a very devastating day; I think we all knew that. No matter how much he wouldn't want us to cry, it was not going to stop us from doing it. I could already hear Rory to quietly sob as we reached Seacliff. Prim reached out and gently squeezed his leg for reassurance as she found a parking spot not too far from the church. The little gesture reminded me too much of when he would do it to me. The pain in my chest rose a little bit higher.

As the name implies, Seacliff was a coastal town. The church was placed on the cliff edge, high above the ocean. It was definitely a beautiful place, if only things were a bit brighter on this day. Everyone surrounding the large, yellow-brick church was dressed in black or uniform. It was smart and organized, the way these people spend their whole lives. I couldn't have been more different. I was a disorganized person at my best of times. Gale had always tried to help me be a more coordinated person. It never worked. We always ended up laughing on the sofa instead. Standing outside the church now, I craved for those moments more than ever.

"Oh, Katniss," I turn to face the front doors where the rest of the Hawthorne family is gathered. Eleven year old Posy comes running towards me, arms straight around my waist. She was my second little sister. I pulled her in and Hazelle and Vick made their way over to us. Hazelle and Prim hugged while Rory and Vick were just trying not to cry. This was our family now, just the six of us left.

We walked inside the religious building together. There were hundreds of people inside, most crying their hearts out for their lost loved ones. Camera crews were set-up, ready to start filming if they weren't already. This was going to be broadcasted across the country.

I followed my family down the aisle as they made their way towards the front pews, the ones saved for families of the lost souls. I noticed none of the men in their smart uniforms were shedding tears, holding their tough exteriors in place when everyone else around them was blubbering. It was all part of the facade of being a soldier. Keeping it together when everything around you was falling apart. I scanned the faces of every man, seeing a few in the white blue or white uniforms that came with the US Navy. But no, not a single one shed a tear.

"Katniss!" Just as I'm about to take my seat, I hear someone calling my name. I turn to see a familiar face walking towards me in his own smart uniform; black jacket, the left side sporting many medals, matching black suit pants with shiny black shoes, and his official hat, just big enough to cover his tufts of blonde hair.

"Captin Evans." I greeted and started walking towards him. He pulled me in for a tight embrace, knowing the pain the other was feeling. "I didn't expect to see you here." I mumbled into his chest.

"I lost my two best Lieutenants," he reminded me. "It only feels right to honor them by attending." I nodded y head I pulled away from my friend, knowing these past two weeks had been hell for him. "I didn't think I would be seeing you in attendance, Miss Everdeen."

"Cato..." I whispered his name up to him, but the words were caught in my throat. "I lost my fiancé, the only man I have ever loved, it feels right to honor him." No matter how much pain we had both been in since we learnt of the deaths (him a whole week before I had), we both needed closure. This was the only time I was going to be able to say goodbye to my fiancé, the only time Cato was going to get to say goodbye to Lt. Hawthorne and Lt. Mellark. We were in so much emotional pain, but we had to get this over with. Our last chance for peace between us and those we cared dearly for.

I still remember when the news came through. Two Lieutenants, one Officer Cadet, one Sargent and three Privates, all killed in an accidental bomb explosion. Some idiot who should now have been touching the explosives had touched them. It made me sick to think that mistakes like that could happen, that it did happen. And now even men were dead. The news broke me.

"I'll let you get back to your family." Cato released my hand, that I hadn't even noticed he had been holding, and we parted ways. He walked over to speak with some other Soldiers, ones I didn't know, and I walked back over to my family, where I waited for this nightmare to end. Only it never was going to end. This wasn't one of my childish nightmares that I would wake up from to find myself tucked up in Gale's arms. There would be waking up alone from then on. No more letters or surprise $100 in my bank account when times were rough. It was hard to believe that all of that had been taken away from me in one fatal move.

I didn't listen to a word the Minister said. I stared on towards the closed casket that belonged to him. Not that his body was in there. No, his body was scattered across the army base, settled in with the debris. Just like how my daddy was scattered under the collapsed mine shaft. The empty coffin was just a symbol of the brave man who was willing to risk his life for his country.

"Miss Primrose Everdeen would like to say a few words for her brother, Lieutenant Gale Hawthorne." I perked up at the sound of my sister's name. She never told me she would be doing the bereavement speech. I watched as she walked up to the podium, not caring about the amount of people who had turned out for the service. Prim had always been the confident one.

"Lieutenant Gale Hawthorne wasn't my real brother, but he was as good as. Always kind, always caring. He put everyone before he put himself. Selfless, that's what he was. His brothers, Rory and Vick, and his baby sister Posy always came first on his list, shortly followed by my sister Katniss and I.  
"When I was seven years old, Gale was thirteen, our two families suffered a great loss when both our fathers passed in a mining accident in our hometown of Seam. Gale never let it falter him. He stepped up that day, becoming a man in his own right. Gale didn't just take care of his own siblings; he took care of me and Katniss as well. We were a make-shift family or a long time, almost eleven years.  
"And over that time, I realized that my brother was brave and courageous in everything he did. When he should have been out on the streets with his friends, he was at home; playing Barbie's with Posy and I, helping Vick with his homework, Rory with his Soccer practice and Katniss with her cooking. Gale made sure we were all fed and all tucked up in bed before Hazelle came home from a late night-shift. Gale was selfless, and I could never have asked for a better brother."

That was all it took for me to breakdown.

* * *

A/N: :'(

Crying again after writing this...

Death is definitely a heavy theme in this story...I should have warned you before hand.

TOP TIP! Do not write/read this while listening to Glee's version of Everytime on repeat...IT DOES NOTHING FOR YOUR EMOTIONS! :'(

FEW THINGS IF ORGOT TO MENTION LAST CHAPTER!

THIS IS MY 160TH STORY! PAR-TAY! I didn't actually realize until I went to read the reviews XD hahahahaha! BUT YEAH! I'VE MADE IT SO FAR XD I highly doubt I'll write 40 more by New Years though...If you don't know, my 2012 goal was to write 150 stories by my 2 year anniversary (CHECK!) and 200 by the end of the year...I've been a bit lazy with my stories...

This is sorta, ever so very slightly based off Fireflies by Faith Hill! EPIC SONG! It's all about being a Fairy Princess...And despite being 17, I am still a Fairy Princess XD

As previously mentioned, I am 17, meaning I am no Suzanne Collins when it comes to writing. Criticism and even flames are very opening welcome here!

I am also BRITISH! Welsh (NOT ENGLISH!) if we're pinpointing locations...I have been writing American and Candaian based stories for over two years now, but I'm still no expert. Sometimes British sayings slip out and sometimes I don't even know they're not American, so do bear with me if things like that happen.

I don't know a lot about the Army, Navy or Air Force, most information comes from google...

I'm super sorry if any character is OOC...I have perfect my TD characters, not my HG ones yet...So, do stick around and tell me if you think anyone was OOC!

Lastly, thank you so much for reading this story ^^ Knowing that you gave me a chance means a lot to me (:

So, you may have a few questions after reading this...I know I do...Do feel free to ask :D I cannot promise to answer them, though, bec ause your answers may be part of the plot ;) And we can't go givig that away now!

I have actually got a plot on my head which is pretty rare for me...I'm a huge 'wing it' kinda girl...Oh yeah...I'm a girl...Just in case the Penname did not give it away XD

Thank you to;

candykisses101: I'm sorry, I don't mesn to make you cry..But I was crying too! I hope to not give up on this one. It seems more my style than my last Hunger Games fic :D Thank you :D

Noh8-make-a-rainbow: DUDE! YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME TO SOMETHING SUPER LONG! hahahaha! BUT I LOVE IT! I didn't actually know who you were until I went snooping around your profile XD hahaha! 1) Thank you :D I KNOW! I don't understand how these chapters are os much longer than my usual ones XD 2) I MISSED YOU SO MUCH TOO! Don't sweat it, I've been uber busy recently too...hahaha1 I am the exact same way when I read stories XD 3) YAY! hahaha! Oh, I won't ever change my ANs, I have grown quite fond of them XD Thanks :D

kattomas: Aw, thank you ever so very much :D That means a lot to me, thank you :D

YEEEP!

3 WHOLE REVIEWS ON THE FIRST CHAPTER!

THAT IS SUPER DUPER AMAZING!

Quick question...There are going to be some hard touching subjects mentioned in this story...I am considering bumping it up to M...Anyone have any objections to that?

Thanks for reading, please review (:

Story was spellchecked, AN was NOT!

Love, Miss C. Rhiannon X


	3. The Day Everything Changed

**Fireflies**

**Chapter Two**

**The Day Everything Changed**

_March 14th 1997_

I was helping James in the barn, trying to put my free time on Friday after school to good use. All I could do was sweep the floors and bring water to the horses. James was the one who did the hard work, but we didn't mind it being this way. The two of us made a good team. The barn was looking good by the time I finished and all the horses in the stable had been taken care of. Dinner time had crept up on us before we knew it and the two of us were washing up in the kitchen as Saw laid dishes on the tables. The Hawthorne's were going to be joining us that evening. No one would tell me why, though. Not that I minded. I enjoyed the company of Gale and Prim enjoyed the company of Rory and Vick. Momma would not be joining us for dinner, she never did. Sae would tend to her later on.

As soon as I heard the knocking on the door I rushed to open it. At the age of eleven my childhood had long left me, but I always felt a surge of excitement run through me when Gale was around. My best friend gave me hope for a light in this dark hell I was doomed to call my life.

"Catnip!" He greeted me with open arms, just the way I liked it. Hazelle greeted me with a smile and Sae took baby Posy to lie her down for a bit, Rory and Prim took off for the toy chest and little Vick trotted after them. I took coats and neatly tucked them away in the downstairs closet. James came out to greet Hazelle with a friendly kiss on the cheek. But as he pulled back, I could see the two say something with their eyes. The way they looked at each other made me feel queasy. It was odd.

I didn't think too much of the strange exchange and dragged Gale into the kitchen with me. We sat and conversed quietly about...Well, everything. It felt like we hadn't seen each other in so long, though it had only been a few hours as he walked me home earlier that day. Sae continued to stir her large pot on the stove and Hazelle helped out. James was still cleaning up the house, though everything was in a neat order. A nervous habit he had, I guess. But every so often, I could still see the adults giving each other sly looks, as if they wanted to talk alone, but Gale and I were in the way.

Having eight people crowded around our tiny kitchen table didn't leave much elbow space. But I enjoyed being close to both Prim and Gale. James was on the other side of my sister, helping her cut her meat, and my best friend was helping one of his brothers do the same as Hazelle helped the other little Hawthorne. Greasy Sae smiled at me from across the table. At first I thought it was a loving smile, but I soon realized it was more sympathetic than anything else. I found it strange. All three grown-ups were acting strange.

"What's going on?" I asked as I pushed a stray potato around my nearly empty plate. I was too nervous to make eye contact with anyone. Despite the fact everyone there was family to me, having so many eyes on me at once was unnerving.

"What do you mean, Katniss?" Hazelle was a trained child psychologist, though there weren't many job opportunities in Seam for that, so he was just a Laundromat employee. She knew how to talk to children in a clam and soothing manner, and even I felt more relieved and relaxed when her words reached my ears.

"There's something you're not telling us," I replied, putting on my brave face, I wasn't going to be defeated or turned down for an answer by this. I knew what I was talking about, something wasn't right. The adults at the table exchanged glances and that confirmed it for me. I wasn't making this up, there was definitely going on that I was being kept in the dark about.

Greasy Sae cleared her throat ad turned to my baby sister, "Prim, why don't you go show Rory and Vick your new bed sheets?" I knew it was just to get the younger kids away, but Prim was really excited about her new _Barney & Friends _bed sheets James had gotten her (after she had soiled the other ones a few nights before after a nightmare). I knew the boys were going to love them too. Three children scurried away and I felt Gale grip my hand under the table. I didn't squeeze back.

"Katniss," Hazelle spoke my name as if it was fragile, as if I was fragile. "Sweetie, there's something we need to talk about with you. You need to know that this is for the best. We all love you here, darling, and we would never try to intentionally hurt you, but this may upset you." I squirmed in my seat. There was nothing that could upset me at that point. I'd already lost my world when daddy died, they would never dream of separating Prim and I, what did I have left?

"Katniss, you know how much I enjoy you helping me out, "James said, his eyes full of truth. "I'd give anything if you and I could always work together like we do, but..." He was struggling for the right words, too afraid to say it straight to me. So Hazelle took over for him.

"Katniss, we've all been trying our best these past few months to keep things the way they've always been. We never wanted anything to change after...after the accident." Hazelle tripped on her own words. She had been trying to avoid mentioning the accident, I could tell. Gale squeezed my hand again as Hazelle continued to speak. "What I'm trying to say is things are difficult right now, Katniss. Your momma is going through a rough patch right now and it is in all of our best interests to help her get better, but we aren't train to do so. There's a doctor coming in the morning to take her to the hospital where they can help her, do you understand, Katniss?" I did, but I couldn't nod. "You and Prim are going to come stay with me and the boys for a while. Sae and James are going to sell the farm-"

"WHAT?!" I screamed as loud as I could. I was fine with momma going to the hospital. I needed her to get better for Prim's sake. I was fine with moving in with the Hawthorne's; they were my second family, after all. But I was not fine with my daddy's farm being sold. He had put everything he had into making that farm perfect. It had been his dream, his ideal place to raise his family in. I couldn't sit by and watch Sae just sell it.

I rose to my feet, hitting my fists down on either side of my plate. Everyone jumped, not expecting me to act this way. Upset? No, I was furious. They could toy with my life as much as they wanted, but I refused to let they destroy the only thing left that belonged to my daddy.

"Katni-"

"NO!" I yelled, "You can't sell the farm, I won't let you do it!"

"Katniss, we can't keep running it." James told me, but I was barely listening. I could see red. "Either we sell it and get some money to support you girls, or we watch it collapse, have the government claim it and have you girls taken away with it."

I stormed away, up to my parents' bedroom. It was still my safe have. I curled up into my daddy's pillow and sobbed. I prayed to the Lord that he would give my daddy back so he could run the farm again. But he didn't listen. God was selfish, keeping his new Angel all to himself. I needed him more. I needed my daddy with me, holding me close to him and telling me everything was going to be alright again.

I don't know how long I had been lying there when I heard the knock on the bedroom door. My tears had dried up and I was left with sore eyes and a headache. I didn't move to open the door or even yell at the person to come in or go away. I had no strength to do either. My body was so tired of raising its voice; there was no point in straining it further.

Gale came in, either way. He crawled up beside me and pressed a sloppy kiss to my temple before settling down on the bed. I didn't move. He wrapped one around my waist and used the other to prop his head up on his fist. And there we stayed in silence for a long time. It wasn't uncomfortable for us to be like that, we loved each other in a funny way. It wasn't the first time we had laid like that in bed. Whenever I had slept over at the Hawthorne's and had nightmares, I would go to Gale rather than Hazelle.

"Things will be okay, Catnip," He told me. But I had asked for the words from my daddy, not my best friend. "You get to come live with me; we're going to have loads of fun." I refused to answer him. "Cheer up, Catnip. Things could be worse."

"Worse?" I mumbled at first before gaining my voice back, twisting so I could see him. "Worse? How could things be worse?"

"You've still got a whole family who love you." Gale reminded me softly, but he didn't know anything. His father and he had never been close, much more distant than me and my father.

"I just want my daddy." I replied, forcing myself back down into the bed, pushing my face into the pillow and masking the sobs. Gale's arm around me tightened. He leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "I won't let anything hurt you. I'll always be here for you, I promise." I took his words straight to heart. I needed Gale to always be there for me. How would I survive without him?

A/N: Poor Katniss :(

Sorry for the minor absence...I wasn't sure what way to take this chapter for a while...But I think I have it going good for now :D

Also...Remember how I said that this story is being written in a notebook during my gaps between classes in college? Yeah. I dropped outta college. That kinda means no gaps...BUT I AM STICKING TO THIS STORY! And the notebook form of writing! Still the same as before, I'm just writing it at home instead.

I know this is a bit shorter than the past two chapters, but I felt like I needed to finish it there before I rambled on about something completely unimportant...er. Unimportanter.

ANYWAY!

Every other chapter is gonna be past/present-ish. I want to go between the two so you guys can sort of see how things happened to get Katniss the way she is now without just her explaining it to a character, but actually witnessing it.

I also wanted to extend your anticipation...What Mellark did I kill?  
OMSG! My favorite part of the reviews was pretty much everyone going 'YOU CAN'T KILL PEETA!' No one gave a damn about Gale actually being dead...As long as I didn't actually kill Peeta XD hahaha! But did I? I could have...I might have...Who knows?

QUICK FACT! This chapter is set 5 days before my 2nd birthday! EEEP! ...I was still an only child back then...BUT! That does also mean that 1997 is NOT my strong point in history! ...Okay, ya got me! I don't have a strong point in history because I pay attention to very little...BUT STILL! You get my point...Hopefully...

And if you don't know what Barney & Friends is...You had no childhood AT ALL!

PS! This is being bumped up to M next chapter for future chapters! Hope you don't mind! May not have any smut in it (I will warn you if I change my mind on that, don't worry), but more for content in it...

Thank you to;

candykisses101: haha! That makes two of us :D Aw, I guess so...Prim is 18 and Katniss is 22 (: Thank you :D

MaidenAlice: Glad you think so (: Thanks :D

pimkfides09: Ah...Good question...Thank you :D

rochay97: Yay! I'm glad you loved it (: Thanks :D

Reaper98: But is it one of Peeta's older brothers or him? Who knows...haha! Aw...Horrible feeling, sorry for making you feel that way...We'll find out who it is next chapter (: Thank you :D

AwesomeMan327: Yes...Peeta...Thanks :D

I love you guys!

You make me smile sooo much! You have no idea how much it means to me to hear your reviews...

Thanks for reading, please review (:

Love, Miss C. Rhiannon X


	4. The Day I Accept A Little Bit of Help

**Fireflies**

**Chapter Three**

**The Day I Accepted A Little Bit of Help**

_July 13th 2008_

I found myself kneeling on the grass beside the freshly piled dirt. My face had dried now, but it didn't make it any easier. I hadn't cried at a funeral since my fathers, but the pain was still there. Knowing I was never going to see my best friend, my fiancé, the man I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with ever again...there are no words for how I felt.

Prim crouched down beside me, her arm draped around my shoulder. I could always count on my sister to help me through the tough times. She says it's because of all the tough times I've helped her through, but I know it's because we can't beat them without each other to lean on. We're the only family we have left. We need each other.

The Hawthorne's had left the graveside already. Hazelle had completely broken down so Vick decided it was best to take her home, Rory and Posy were waiting in the car for me now, almost two hours after the burial. I just wasn't ready to leave him yet. I couldn't say my final goodbye when so many things had been left unsaid.

"Go home without me," I told Prim. "I'll catch a taxi or call Johanna, just don't wait around anymore." She nodded her head in understanding, but didn't go anywhere. She tucked a wild strand of hair behind my ear and squeezed me tighter.

"I know I shouldn't bring it up now, but you're always so busy working that I don't know when I'll see you next." Her voice was like a muscle relaxer; her words making me feel at ease even if they brought bad news with them. "Mom and dads' anniversary is next week, do you want to get together to do something?"

"Maybe," I manage to squeak against the harsh gust of wind. I know Prim believed that the gust of wind must have been a sign from someone on the other side, but, to me, it was just a gust of wind. But she didn't mention it, and a few moments later she reluctantly left me alone. I wasn't totally alone, there were still some mourners for the other six brave me around, but I wanted to close my eyes and pretend that it was just Gale and I having a conversation like we had many times before.

I didn't know what to say to him. I had never been any good with words, not even around my best friend. All those years that he was away at war I was thankful for the letters. I could always scrap a bad letter and re-write it. You can't do that with words.

"You promised, Gale," I choked out. "You promised you would always be here for me. Bu now you're gone. You promised you would never let anything hurt me. But look where we are now." A hot tear rolled off my face and landed on the back of my hand. I didn't want to cry. Gale wouldn't want me to cry. When we were younger he would always wipe my tears away, telling me that even when I cried I was pretty, but I was prettiest when I smiled. I tried to smile for him as I sat by his grave, but no force in the world could make me.

"I don't know if you can me, Gale, but I want to say thank you. Thank you for listening to me, for caring for me. I know I haven't always been the easiest person to deal with, and I didn't always see eye-to-eye, but you never gave up. Thank you for being my best friend."

I don't know exactly how long I stayed in the cemetery trying to think up every happy memory I had of Gale, but I know it was a longer than I thought it would be. I started to shiver when the temperature turned down a bit and started to winder what time it was.

"Hey," a gentle voice called to me from behind, "are you alright there, ma'am?" I didn't know how to reply, so I just nodded my head. "It's starting to get dark out; I'd feel bad if I left you here alone." My head snapped back to give this pervert a piece of my mind, but all comments left my mind as soon as I saw those haunting blue eyes. I'd seen them before…somewhere. Blonde curls fell into his face and I watched him brush them back as he crouched down next to me. Our eyes never broke contact and I wondered what he was doing. I noticed he was in a black suit and tie, indicating he had come from the funeral also. I didn't recognize him as one of Gale's friends, though.

"I'm Peeta," his voice was like hearing silk talk. "Peeta Mellark. Lieutenant Crispin Mellark's brother." I slowly nodded my head to show I understood him, but my lips felt like they had been attacked by superglue. "Are you related to Gale?" Peeta nodded his head towards the headstone and my head swiveled to look back at it again.

"He's-He was my fiancé," I tell the stranger behind me. I wouldn't usually have told anyone of our role as the engaged couple. I never liked flaunting it unlike Gale. It was like he wanted to show me off to the world, which made me feel loved-self-conscious, but loved.

"I'd offer my condolences, but I don't think you want them," Peeta whispered to the wind. I didn't dare look back at him. "I know from a personal point of view that it is always awkward when people say 'I'm sorry for your loss'. As comforting as they think it is, it's not." I understood his words perfectly, each one wrapping around my heart, filled with memories of Gale. But I didn't understand the kindness he was showing me. He didn't know me, I didn't know him. His brother and my fiancé had been Lieutenants together, that was all. There was no need for this act of charity from him, this staying at the cemetery for me safety.

"I should get going," I mumbled, rising off the ground. Peeta followed suit.

"You live in Seam, right?" I nodded. "I have to pass by to get home. I live in Merchant, just ten minutes away. I could give you a ride if you would like." The question hung in the air for a while. My eyes had found a way back to his and I felt obligated to comply to his generosity, as if his baby blues were forcing me to just accept it. "I'm not a stalker," Peeta promised as he led the way to his car. "I met Gale a few times when he and my brother were on leave. I won't like, we butted heads a few times, but he always had something good to say about the beautiful Katniss Everdeen." He looked down to me as we reached the road. "You really are as beautiful as he described." I swallowed. Hard.

He had a black Renault. I'm no car expert, but it looked safe enough. I was highly cautious around cars. I could hardly believe I was about to get into one with a stranger.

I paused, not sure whether this was a good idea after all. Peeta noticed, pausing to look at me. He didn't say anything, but just that one look made my knees go weak. I knew I would be safe with him. He sweet and innocent stare...It was intoxicating to watch. Not in a sexual manner, but in an intriguing one. Like I could have stared right back at him until the fat lady sang.

"Here," he mumbled, pulling open the back door for me. I climbed in behind the passenger seat and noticed a man in uniform in the driver's seat. He had his own driver? No. The man was too young, also dressed in a Marine coded outfit. His bronze hair was falling into his eyes as his sleeping face squashed against the window. I would have cracked a grin under different circumstances.

Peeta climbed into the front eat and huffed at the sight of his friend. I could see this was going to be a struggle. I woke Gale up once. There was a spider in the bathroom-not that I'm afraid of spiders! But it was big, black and hairy, building a home for itself between my shampoo bottles. I was not having it. As Gale was rarely home with me, I thought I would let him feel like a man and get the spider for me. I didn't realize waking a soldier had consequences. The smallest nudge to my boyfriend's arm and he was in full army mode. He had been trained to always be on guard. It scared the life out of me to see him like that, so I never bothered him again.

"Finnick, man, wakey-wakey," Peeta gently coaxed. His voice was soothing enough to put me to sleep. The blonde haired beauty placed his hand on his friends shoulder, giving him the gentlest shake I had ever witnessed. Yet, Finnick, being the Marine he was, jumped to life.

"The ships on fire? I'll man the bucket!" His body tried to move, but he was confined behind the steering wheel. I stared between the two men. How had I ended up with them being my only ticket home?

"Finn, it's okay," Peeta assured him by patting the hand still firmly held on his shoulder. "You fell asleep at the wheel. Remember? You're on leave." The bronze haired boy looked quite bewildered, still glancing hastily around the vehicle. I worried for a second when his sea-green eyes landed on me, but Peeta continued talking, "We're going to make a pit stop in Seam, is that alright? Are you okay to drive or should I take over?"

Finnick shook his head, "I'm alright." And to prove it we started heading back towards the hometown. I couldn't take my eyes away from our driver, and he caught me staring in the rear-view mirror, "Like what you see?" He teased, causing my scoff to get caught in my throat. I faked a cough. He still looked too familiar. I racked my brain trying to find-And then it clicked.

"You're Commander Finnick Odair, aren't you?" A broad grin broke onto the older man's face as he nudged shoulders with his friend.

"See, told you all women wanted me," he chuckled. "Word of my amazing bedroom talents is clearly spreading among them." I didn't know whether Peeta rolled his eyes or smirked at his friend's foolishness, but Finnick seemed quite confident in his answer.

"We met at a Christmas party," I continued, ignoring his comments. "About eighteen months ago. My-My fiancé introduced us." I saw Peeta stiffen. He seemed to panic for me at how his friend would reply to this.

"Who's your fiancé?" Finnick questioned with curiosity in his eye. They watched me in the mirror as I took in a deep, shaky breath. Thinking back to the funeral was doing nothing for my emotions. I felt at a loss.

"Lieutenant Gale Hawthorne." I answered, my voice quiet and hoarse, as if I had only just stopped crying. Either that or I was about to start all over again. The skin around my nose and eye started to tingle, but I fought back the urge. Naturally, it was no use. Steamy tears merged in my eyes whether I wanted them to or not.

I could hear Finnick swallow and Peeta sigh as the car died into a strange silence, "Good kid." I heard Finnick mumbled, obviously very apologetic for bringing it up. I wiped my eyes and tried to regain comfort in my seat. It was no use; I didn't feel quite at ease anymore. "I remember you now!" Both Peeta and I directed our attention towards Finnick, "Katniss Everdeen: the Girl on Fire." I blinked. And then blinked again, not quite sure if I had heard Finnick correctly.

"Ex-Excuse me?" I stammered, hoping to not sound like an idiot.

"That's what everyone called you; the Girl on Fire." Yet I had never heard if that before," You were wearing that red dress. Every time you moved you looked like you were on fire." I blinked a few more times, my memories travelling back to Christmas 2006. Cinna, an old friend of my mothers, had insisted on dressing me up. It was the first Christmas party I would be attending with Gale with my newly appointed title of his fiancée. Red. All I saw was red. Not in an angry way, no. In a way where Cinna insisted it was the color for me. He braided my hair up in a fashion my mother had once shown Hazelle. Hazelle had always twisted my hair into that style for prom in High school, though I only went twice.

The dress was beautiful. A bright flame against my paling olive skin. I was never one for dressing up. As a matter of fact, I detested it. Give me a 4x4, dirt pile and dungarees any day over getting all proper and prissy for no matter of importance.

The night passed in a flurry of meet and greets for me. Gale knew a lot of people and he definitely was trying to show me off on his arm. Everyone stared at me, the dress flourishing with my every move. I barely remember many details, but I do remember it being the night I me my fiancé's closest friend on the field, Lt. Crispin Mellark, and his closest friend from home, Commander Finnick Odair. There was an odd atmosphere when the three were stood around talking. I couldn't stand it and excused myself for a drink after a few minutes of chatter. But there were a pair of haunting blue eyes and a pair of green ones that moved like the sea that stuck with me wherever I went.

Finnick wouldn't look at me for the remainder of the drive. Peeta stared out his window in deep though. I tried to do the same, wondering what Gale would make of this. Needless to say the rest of the drive was silently taken.

A/N: Eeep...

It's been a while, I know!

I am SO SORRY!

To forgive me...PEETA'S ALIVE! Come on, that is grounds for forgiveness...right? haha!

ANYWAY!

I hope ya'll enjoyed it :D

Thank you to;

rochay97: I'm glad you liked it :D Thank you (:

MaidenAlice: No, no they can't :( Thanks (:

candykisses101: It is a shame for them to have to sell it, but they need the money more than they need the farm...haha! Yup, March 19th 1995 xD Wicked! haha! Stalkers FTW XD Ah, weird reviews are always my favorite kind! Thank you (:

I love you guys!

Again, sorry for the long time between updates...

Thanks for reading, please review (:

Love, Miss C. RhiannonX


	5. AN

Sup guys?

Sorry, not a new chapter!

This is in fact me informing ya'll that I am putting this story on hold.

I really tried with this one, thinking it was going to be my great Hunger Games fic, but it just wasn't. I lost my notebook for a while and when I found it I just sort of fell out of love with this story. I mean, if someone else was writing it I'd read with eagerness, but it's just not for me to write at this time. I won't be deleting it, I may continue it in the future, but for now I'm stopping it.

I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read and review, you guys are amazing and I will never be able to thank you enough.

Love, Chloe xox


End file.
